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To re-name or not to re-name. Is it okay to change the names of the horses who come into your care? Sometimes? Always? Never? Though for years I would have said “never,” now my answer is “sometimes.” If an animal has a perfectly good name and answers to that name, I think it’s a bit rude to make a change. Especially if the animal is an adult who has become accustomed to his or her name over many years. I especially dislike when people copy animal names from popular culture or literature, particularly when it’s patently clear it was done to pump up the person’s ego. Generally I consider it presumptuous to change a perfectly good horse name just to make the owner feel cool. Call me a purist, but “Black Beauty” and “Shadowfax” and “Flicka” belong to horses who, though they may be “real” only in literature and my mind’s eye, own those names. I’m also not fond of the kind of cutesy names that, I think, diminish and demean the animal’s role as an adult member of your family or part of your business. I remember as a kid feeling sorry for the Shetlands in the carnival pony rides in part because their lives seemed pretty dull, but mostly because I was certain their “real” names weren’t “Precious,” “Fluffy” and “Sweetiepie.” Gag! There are cultures that attach power to names. I must concur, because I certainly believe you are tempting the horse gods if you’re dumb enough to name a horse something like “Killer” or “Fireball.” I’m not even too sure about the old standby “Buck” for a buckskin. My rule of thumb: don’t name your horse anything you don’t want him to do. And if you just can't stop your macho self from naming your new greenie “Feisty,” well, you might just as well call him “Buckmeoffandstompmyhead” and double up your life insurance. On the other hand, if you purchase or otherwise end up with a horse with a ridiculous or suggestive name, I think it’s not a bad thing to make a change. [caption id="attachment_1162" align="alignleft" width="288" caption="Sport and Ichobod"][/caption] Two of my horses have gone through name changes, but only one by me. My dignified old Quarter Horse gelding was cursed with one of the worst registered names I’ve ever encountered – Paco Hippie. I can picture a horse (or, more likely a donkey) who would fit “Paco,” but it’s not this horse. And “Hippie?” That’s just dumb. The woman who gave him to me called him “Ichobod” and, while I can’t imagine ever naming a horse that, it works for him. There’s even a good reason for it – she bought him off a remote Wyoming ranch where he was low horse in the herd and didn’t get enough to eat. A hundred-plus pounds underweight on a rangy 16-hand frame – he was the equine version of the Headless Horseman’s lanky victim. And yes, I do know the literary character’s name is “Ichabod.” I was too lazy to look it up when I first got my Ich (pre-Internet) and decided it looked better when I wrote it with an “o” than an “a.” When I finally realized my mistake, I did make an effort to change the spelling, but it just looked wrong. So, we’ll agree to call his name a tribute to Washington Irving’s iconic lanky schoolteacher, shall we? It’s doubly apt because my Ichobod has grown into a formidable teacher. Horse number two is a grade QH/Paint cross whose rich hobby-rancher breeders called him “Slash.” From my theory that you should never name an animal something you don’t want them to do, I have to say that’s a horrible choice. And, as if to illustrate my point , this horse as a 2-year-old got hung up in a barbed wire fence and nearly sliced off his left hind at the hock. As soon as he followed me home I decided that he needed a new name. He certainly didn’t answer to his old moniker – he’d never even been taught to be caught other than by being roped. So, despite my misgivings about critter name changes, I started right away thinking up a new one for him. I settled on “Sport,” as in "he’s a good sport," in part as wishful thinking and in part as recognition that he really did seem good-natured under the fear of humans that resulted from him being pretty much unhandled for the first four years of his life. Another horse begging for a name change was a gelding that lived on the ranch where I moved as a youngster. Built like a tank, he had a big, square head and an expression, depending on your perspective, either placid or vacant. He had been, aptly, called “Stupid” for the first decade or so of his life. In a charitable moment my mom dubbed him “Roscoe” and sent him off to a quiet cowboy to see if the horse could master the intricacies of, say, steering. He came back 60 days later having earned high marks for his brawn, but not much else. That was okay. His main job was relocating recalcitrant Hereford bulls that seemed to have an aversion to crossing paved roads (something they had to do twice in each trek from summer to winter pasture and back). Just rope the balking bovine and dally hard, shift Roscoe into low gear (pretty much his native speed) and point him in the direction you wanted him to move the bull. Not a job you’d imagine assigning to a cute little pony named “Puddin’” or a pretty filly called “Dancer.” [caption id="attachment_1171" align="alignright" width="180" caption=""Poopface""][/caption] Clients know that most of their horses end up with one or more nicknames from me, and some of them are silly. A rather nice Paint gelding with a highfalutin registered name became “Spot.” A filly a former barnmate bred and raised has been Poopface since the day she was born; she’s in her late teens now and still answers to that as well as her much-more-lovely registered name. During my short stint working at a hunter/jumper barn, I was introduced to the concept of giving a horse a “show” name and a “barn” name. And there were some really clever and creative ones in that bunch. For example a big horse with plump ears like a cow’s got the barn name “Norman” after the orphan calf in the movie City Slicker, which made a good show name. My favorite was a school horse known affectionately as “Tipsy.” In her hunter show days, she was called “Too Tight to Dance.” I have known quite few horse lovers (girls and women!) over the years who had given thought to what their dream horse would look like and what his or her name would be. Did you ever do that? Do you have an opinion about changing horse names? Or a really great horse name to share?